You Are Colby

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You are Colby. [[Ok.]] [[Your mom is Colby.|MY MOM IS COLBY MODULE]]

You are born. You are Baby Colby. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/birth.gif"> [[Explore.]] [[Vomit.]]

<img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/modulemini.png" class="mini-img"> MY MOM IS COLBY MODULE. My mom is Colby. But she has no arms. [[Give her arms.]] [[No.]] <<link "Save module.">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

You puked all over your new clothes. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/babyvomit.png"> Grandma's going to be angry. [[Hide.]] [[Eat vomit.]]

You want to explore your Baby Colby house. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/images/babycolbyhouse.png"> [[Garden.]] [[Knives.]]

Something is dabbing in the garden. What is it? <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/dab.gif"> [[Gnome.]] [[Chupacabra.]]

What will you do with them? <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/knives.png"> [[Cook.]] [[Kill.]]

Wrong. It is a chupacabra. [[Ok.|Garden 2]] [[No.|I am right]]

Wrong. It is a gnome. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/gnomehand.png"> It wants to shake your hand. [[Lick.]] [[Eat.]]

What does it taste like? <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/gnomehandlicked.png"> [[Cherries.]] [[Fufu.]]

You eat. Hand was a trap! You are now a goat. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/goat.png" class="fadein"> Gnome loves goat. [[Help.]] [[Die now.]]

Something is dabbing in the garden. What is it? <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/dab.gif"> [[Chupacabra.]] [[I changed my mind. I was right. It's a gnome.]]

Yes. It is a chupacabra. [[Ok.|Comply]] [[No.|Revolt]]

Then prove it. [[2+2=6.]] [[Greedo shot first.]]

Oops. You were right. It is a gnome. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/gnomehand.png"> It wants to shake your hand. [[Lick.]] [[Eat.]]

NO!! IT IS A CHUPACABRA!!!! <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/deadbabycolby.png"> You die as Ignorant Baby Colby. [[Play again?]]

<img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/newgame.png" class="shake mid-img"> [[New game.|New game 2]] <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/module.png" class="shake mid-img"> <<link "Load modules.">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

Don't be smart. It's not becoming of you. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/deadbabycolby.png"> You die as Annoying Baby Colby. (Shame, considering how close you were to unlocking the Smelly Halloween Module...) [[Play again?]]

Actually, in the original 1977 theatrical release, Han shot first. George Lucas wanted you to forget that because since the film's original release, Lucas has come to regret making one of the film's heroes a cold-blooded killer. And I see now that you are too simple-minded. You fell for Lucas's propaganda. How stupid of you. And to think, you almost unlocked the Smelly Halloween Module... <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/deadbabycolby.png"> You die as Ignorant Star Wars Nerd Baby Colby. [[Play again?]]

Cherries reminds you of medicine. You hate medicine. You die. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/deadbabycolby.png"> You die as Hand Licking Baby Colby. (Shame, considering how close you were to unlocking the Smelly Halloween Module...) [[Play again?]]

Yum fufu. Gnome offers you tickets to Africa. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/africa.png"> [[Yes.|Africa]] [[No.|Angry gnome]]

You get to airport. Security guard. Wait. You're too young to travel to Africa. You're still a baby. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/deadbabycolbyafrica.png"> You die as International Bandit Baby Colby. [[Play again?]]

Gnome is angry! He rubs ring on his finger. OH NO! IT IS THE ONE RING! <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/onering.png"> [[Precious.]] [[Flee.]]

You try to steal ring. He is too powerful!! You die in struggle. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/deadbabycolby.png"> You die as Sméagol Baby Colby. [[Play again?]]

You run, but he is coming for you! [[Shank.]] [[Trip.]]

Pidgeons come to help you. Oh, nvm. They use you as a pidgeon landing and start building nests inside of you. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/images/pidgeonkillscolby.png" class="shake"> You die. You die as Pidgeon Landing Colby. [[Play again?]]

No. You are chosen. You cannot die yet. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/goat.png"> [[Eat clothes.]] [[Attack humans.]]

Clothes give you stomach ache. You die as Stomach Ache Goat Baby Colby. But... you are chosen so you live. [[Attack humans.]] [[Chosen powers.]]

You attack humans! The Goat-Cops come and stop you. You are dead. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/goat.png" class="upsidedown"> You die as Rampaging Goat Baby Colby. [[Play again?]]

You use chosen powers. Time control. [[Easter.]] [[Halloween.]]

Wrong choice. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/goat.png" class="upsidedown"> You die as Chosen Powers Goat Baby Colby [[Play again?]]

<img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/modulemini.png" class="mini-img"> SMELLY HALLOWEEN MODULE. Ten years pass. You change back to human. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/10.png"> You are now ten years old. WELCOME TO HALLOWEEN. [[Trick-or-Treat.]] [[Beautiful Girl.]] <<link "Save module.">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

You need a costume. [[Elvis.]] [[Edward R. Murrow.]]

Trap! It is ugly man in mask! <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/uglyman.png"> [[Bite.]] [[Struggle.]]

You grow to twenty years in one night. You are so sexy now. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/elvis.png"> [[Beautiful Girl.]] [[Dancing]]

You look like a journalist. People are scared of journalists. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/murrow.png"> [[Candy.]] [[Interview trick-or-treaters.]]

You go dancing. Which dance do you do? [[The butterfly.]] [[The cocoon.]]

Everyone so scared of you now. They give you all the candies. [[Chocolates.]] [[Bubble gum.]]

Who will you interview? [[President of United States.]] [[Nosferatu.]]

Which do you eat first? [[Reese's.]] [[Snickers.]]

Ten years old and you're chewing gum. So cool. [[Blow bubble.]] [[Spit out gum.]]

It's so good. OMG. Yum. You love Reese's so much. It's your fav- OH NO!! It's a trap! You're allergic to peanut butter!! You die as Reese's Colby. [[Play again?]]

You love snickers. Ouch. Teeth hurt now. [[Dentist.]] [[Floss.]]

You go to dentist. DENTIST IS SWEENEY TODD!! He slits your throat. You die as Dentist Murdered Colby. [[Play again?]]

You floss for first time in your life. Gums start bleeding. They never stop. You die as Flossing Colby. [[Play again?]]

<img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/gum.png"> You blow bubble. It's so big. You fly away and see witches flying on broomsticks. [[Say hi.]] [[Quidditch.]]

Cops see you. YOU ARE LITTERING!!! What do you do? [[Turn yourself in.]] [[Gotta go fast.]]

You open mouth to speak. You lose gum and bubble floats away without you. You fall and die. You die as Bubblegum Fallen Colby. [[Play again?]]

They are excited to play. Oh no!! They mistake your bubble for the quaffle! It explodes on touch! You fall to your death. You die as False-Quaffle Colby. [[Play again?]]

You turn yourself in. Welcome to Juvenile Detention. They stick you in a cell. Your cellmate is a dirty diaper. You ask them to get rid of the diaper, but they don't. Do you not like me? it asks you. You stare at it, unsure. What are you staring at? it says. "I think I'm going crazy," you finally say after several minutes pass. No, you're not going crazy. You're just starting to discover yourself. "What do you mean?" you ask. Look in the mirror, it tells you, an edge of joy in its voice. You walk to the mirror and look at your reflection. You are the dirty diaper. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/diaper.png"> You die as Dirty Diaper Colby. [[Play again?]]

You are not Sonic the Hedgehog you try to run but you trip and die. You die as Tripping Colby. [[Play again?]]

You start interview. What will you ask? [["Mr. President, what is your stance on politics?"]] [["Mr. President, I'm on to you."]]

You try to interview Nosferatu. He drinks your blood. You die as Vampire Meal Colby. [[Play again?]]

"Hot dogs!" he responds. [[You love hot dogs.]] [[You hate hot dogs.]]

He laughs and pulls off mask. YOU WERE RIGHT! HE IS VLADIMIR PUTIN!! [[Gotta go fast.]] [[Call the UN.]]

You eat hot dogs with Barack Obama. You choke on hot dog. You die as Choking Colby. [[Play again?]]

But he loves hot dogs. You are walking on thin ice. What will you do? [[Confess your distaste for hot dogs.]] [[Pretend to love hot dogs|You love hot dogs.]]

You confess. He doesn't like that. Secret Service takes you away. Welcome to Juvenile Detention. They stick you in a cell. Your cellmate is a dirty diaper. You ask them to get rid of the diaper, but they don't. Do you not like me? it asks you. You stare at it, unsure. What are you staring at? it says. "I think I'm going crazy," you finally say after several minutes pass. No, you're not going crazy. You're just starting to discover yourself. "What do you mean?" you ask. Look in the mirror, it tells you, an edge of joy in its voice. You walk to the mirror and look at your reflection. You are the dirty diaper. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/diaper.png"> You die as Dirty Diaper Colby. [[Play again?]]

You call them. They put you on hold. You die as Waiting Colby. [[Play again?]]

Your parents danced like that. You are so unhip. You die as Unhip Colby. [[Play again?]]

Your moves are so good. You are so popular now. [[Beautiful Girl.]] [[Magic tricks.]]

You want to do magic tricks to increase your street cred. You have a reputation to maintain now. Which trick do you do? [[Disappear.]] [[Rabbit in hat.]]

You disappear! How did you do that? The answer is dark magic. It overcomes you, consumes your mind and then your body. You become a twinky. You die. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/twinkydeath.png"> You die as Dark Magic Twinky Colby. [[Play again?]]

RABBIT HAD RABIES! It bites you and you die. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/rabbitdeath.png"> You die as Rabbit Rabies Colby. [[Play again?]]

What are you cooking? <img src="http://youarecolby.com/images/babycolbycooks.png"> [[Butterflies.]] [[Fireflies.]] [[Monkeyflies.]]

Pidgeon is outside. Pidgeon gives you stink eye. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/images/pidgeon.png"> [[Slash.]] [[Mock.]]

Butterflies struggle to get free. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/cookbutterfly.png" class="shake"> You almost cut off your finger. [[Stew.]] [[Salad.]]

Fireflies calmly accept their fate. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/cookfireflies.png"> You're pretty good at this. [[Salad.]] [[Stew.]]

MONKEYFLIES FIGHT BACK! <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/monkeyflies.png" class="shake"> You slice your fingers off in the struggle. [[Bandaid.]] [[Cry.]]

So good. Lick lips. Yum. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/images/stew.png"> You grow five days. [[Television.]] [[Playground.]]

Salad yum. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/images/salad.png"> You grow ten years. [[School.]] [[Bank.]]

You use DOLLAR STORE BANDAIDS!! They are cheap quality. You die. You die as Dollar Store Bandaid Baby Chef Colby. [[Play again?]]

Too late. You die. You die as Crying Baby Chef Colby. [[Play again?]]

Elementary school is so ugly. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/images/school1.png"> [[Pretty girl.]] [[Make friends.]]

It smells nice here. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/images/bank.png"> [[Open bank account.]] [[Rob the place.]]

Evening news. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/images/eveningnews.png"> [[So good.]] [[So hate.]]

Sand in shoe. Ugh. You die. You die as Playground Baby Colby. [[Play again?]]

You watch. Suddenly your house is on TV! "North Korea has fired a missle!" they say. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/images/housemissle.png"> You run but too late. You are dead. You die as Missled Baby Colby [[Play again?]]

You turn it off. You don't hear that twister is coming. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/images/twister.png" class="fastsway"> Boom! It comes and you die. You die as Twister Baby Colby. [[Play again?]]

Robbers come and steal and kill. You die from a heart attack! You die as Heart Attacked Baby Colby. [[Play again?]]

What do you demand? <img src="http://youarecolby.com/images/angrykidcolby.png"> [[Put money in bag.]] [[Give me diamonds.]]

They are too slow on purpose. Stalling. The police come and you die. You die as Bank Robber Colby. [[Play again?]]

There are no diamonds. It was a distraction. Police come and you die. You die as No Diamonds Colby. [[Play again?]]

Ugly man turns into werwolf. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/werewolf.gif"> [[Kill him.]] [[Feed chicken.]]

Colby is confused. He hurt himself in his confusion. You die. You die as Struggling Colby. [[Play again?]]

He eats you and becomes ruler of world. You die as Werewolf Meal Colby. [[Play again?]]

He is now loyal to you. [[Candy.]] [[Money.]]

Child with wads of cash walks by. Werewolf attacks. [[Feel bad.]] [[Crazy laugh.]]

You feel bad but kid runs away. You get the moneys. [[Charity.]] [[Xbox One.]]

Cop hears you laughing! What do you do? [[Confess|Charity confess]] [[Gotta go fast.]]

You give money to charity. Charity asks where it came from. [[Truth.|Charity confess]] [[Lie.|Halloween lie]]

It's a trap! It wasn't an Xbox, it was a Nintendo Wii U!!1!!!! It explodes. You die as Nintendoed Colby. [[Play again?]]

They are so touched. They make you President of Halloween. [[Candy.]] [[Cancel Halloween.]]

You confess. Welcome to Juvenile Detention. They stick you in a cell. Your cellmate is a dirty diaper. You ask them to get rid of the diaper, but they don't. Do you not like me? it asks you. You stare at it, unsure. What are you staring at? it says. "I think I'm going crazy," you finally say after several minutes pass. No, you're not going crazy. You're just starting to discover yourself. "What do you mean?" you ask. Look in the mirror, it tells you, an edge of joy in its voice. You walk to the mirror and look at your reflection. You are the dirty diaper. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/diaper.png"> You die as Dirty Diaper Colby. [[Play again?]]

Dark angels appear from the sky. "You cannot end Halloween," they say. They zap you and you become candycorn and you are dead. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/candycorndeath.png"> You die as Candycorned Colby. [[Play again?]]

She might like you too. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/images/prettygirl.png"> [[Flirt.]] [[Smile.]]

You use water and dirt to make mud friends. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/images/mudfriends.png"> [[Talk to them.]] [[Eat them.]]

It's a trap! She hates you. You die from embarrassment. You die as Embarrassed Colby. [[Play again?]]

You have no teeth! She barfs in your mouth. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/vomitdeath.png" class="shake"> You die from lead poisoning. You die as Lead Poisoned Colby. [[Play again?]]

The nurse hears you and you go to the school psychiatrist. "I wanted to be a nun," she says. "But only after being an explorer." [[Why a nun?]] [[What would you explore?]]

WORMS INSIDE! <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/wormdeath.png" class="shake"> [[Nurse.]] [[Chew.|Chew worms]]

Pidgeon is dead. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/images/pidgeondead.png"> [[Hat.]] [[Cook.|Cook pidgeon]]

Pidgeon is angry. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/images/pidgeonkillscolby.png" class="shake"> Pidgeon kills you. Remember, you are weak. You die as Pidgeon Murdered Baby Colby. [[Play again?]]

You make a hat out of the pidgeon. You are so cool. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/images/colypidgeonhat.png"> You grow three years. [[Pidgeon nest.]] [[Mommy.]]

PIDGEON TRICKED YOU!!! IT'S ACTUALLY ALIVE!! <img src="http://youarecolby.com/images/pidgeon.png" class="shake"> You struggle to kill him but you are too slow. You die as Pidgeon Fooled Baby Colby [[Play again?]]

Pidgeons see you and your hat. You are now supreme pidgeon ruler. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/images/colbypidgeonleader.png"> [[Attack.]] [[Cuddle.]]

Mommy is scared of hat. Mommy puts you in time out and you die from rat poisoning. You die as Rat Poisoned Colby. [[Play again?]]

Neighbor doesn't have a chan-OH NO NEIGHBOR HAS A CAT!! <img src="http://youarecolby.com/images/cat.png" class="shake"> [[Kill cat.]] [[Retreat.]]

You love pidgeons. Pidgeons love you. They lay eggs inside of you. This is not natural. You die. You die as Pregnant Pidgeon Colby. [[Play again?]]

Cat is too fast for you! Remember, you are weak. You die as Cat Murdered Baby Colby. [[Play again?]]

You give up. Pidgeons realize that you're a phony. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/images/pidgeonkillscolby.png" class="shake"> They kill you. You die as Phony Pidgeon Overload Colby. [[Play again?]]

Thank you. My Mom Colby now has robot arms. What will she do? [[Bake cookies.]] [[Run for President of the United States.]]

My Mom Colby is sad. [[Vacation.]] [[Alabama.]]

Burnt cookies. She dies. She dies as Burning Cookies Mom Colby. [[Play again?]]

Donald Trump. She dies. She dies as Trumped Mom Colby. [[Play again?]]

My Mom Colby goes to Peru. [[Alpacas.]] [[Restaurant.]]

[[Walk there.]] [[Get on plane.]]

My Mom Colby loves the alpacas. The fur is so luscious. [[Pet it.]] [[Lick it.]]

They serve guinea pig. [[Yum.]] [[No thank you.]]

So luscious... [[Eat fur.]] [[Take fur.]]

Mom Colby licks the alpaca. Mom Colby dies. She dies as Alpaca Licking Mom Colby. [[Play again?]]

Disgusting! Heart attack. She dies. She dies as Heart Attack Mom Colby. [[Play again?]]

Mom Colby uses scissors. cut cut cut [[Run.]] [[Smell.]]

Alpaca is angry! Alpaca tramples Mom Colby. Mom Colby dies. She dies as Mom Colby. [[Play again?]]

Smells so good... but... Alpaca is angry! Alpaca tramples Mom Colby. Mom Colby dies. She dies as Mom Colby. [[Play again?]]

It was not cooked according to New York City Health Inspection standards. Mom Colby chokes on food and dies. She dies as Guinea Pig Eating Mom Colby. [[Play again?]]

The guinea pig was not all the way dead! It jumps in Mom Colby's mouth. [[Spit it out.]] [[Chew.|Yum.]]

It tears at My Mom Colby's esophagus! My Mom Colby dies. She dies as Guinea Pig Murdered Mom Colby. [[Play again?]]

Clowns come and take it all. Mom Colby dies. She dies as Mom Colby. [[Play again?]]

Oh no, bad ticket. It took my Mom Colby to the wrong place. [[Where is she?|Vacation.]]

<img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/newgame.png" class="shake mid-img"> [[New game.]] <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/module.png" class="shake mid-img"> <<link "Load modules.">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

You are born (again). You are Baby Colby. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/birth.gif"> [[Explore.]] [[Vomit.]]

You slither away but Grandma catches you! She sticks you in washing machine. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/washingbaby.png" class="spin"> [[Tide pods.]] <<if $ring is "true">>[[Magic spell.|Magic spell 2]] <<else>>[[Magic spell.]] <</if>>

You choke and die. You die as Vomit Eating Baby Colby. [[Play again?]]

You mutter a magic spell beneath your breath. You hear a voice speaking in Elvish. "ONLY A POWERFUL MAGIC BEING CAN ENTER THIS PORTAL!" You die. [[Play again?]]

You idiot. You die as Tide Pod Challenger Baby Colby [[Play again?]]

You pull out knife to kill him. Wait. You don't have a knife. He uses the One Ring to destroy you. He is a magic being. You die as Gnome Murdered Baby Colby. [[Play again?]]

You trip gnome. Ring flies from gnome's hand. [[Grab.]] [[Grab.|Grab2]] [[Grab.|Grab3]] [[Grab.|Grab4]] [[Grab.|Grab5]]

You try to grab the ring. You're too clumsy! Gnome grabs ring and destroys you. You die as Failure Baby Colby. Too bad. You almost got the key to Middle Earth... [[Play again?]]

YOU CATCH THE ONE RING!! Gnome is dead. You've killed a powerful magic being. [[Ice cream.]] [[Playground.]] <<set $ring = "true">>

You try to grab the ring. You're too clumsy! Gnome grabs ring and destroys you. You die as Failure Baby Colby. Too bad. You almost got the key to Middle Earth... [[Play again?]]

Which flavor do you get? [[Raisin.]] [[Spinach.]]

You choke on raisins and die. You die as Raisin Baby Colby. [[Play again?]]

It tastes so bad. Eew. You die. You die as Spinach Ice Cream Colby. [[Play again?]]

<img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/modulemini.png" class="mini-img"> MIDDLE EARTH MODULE. Wait. What's this? You acquired the One Ring in a past life. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/onering.png"> YOU GO THROUGH A PORTAL AND ENTER MIDDLE EARTH!!! You are the Ring Bearer. You age ten years. You must now take the ring to Mordor. [[Shire.]] [[Rivendell.]] <<link "Save module.">><<script>>UI.saves()<</script>><</link>>

Welcome to the Shire. [[Bilbo.]] [[Martha Stewart.]]

Welcome to Rivendell. [[Elrond.]] [[Thriller.]]

Bilbo is not happy to see you. "I will have no visitors," he says. [[Kill.|Kill Bilbo]] [[Joke.]]

<img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/martha.png"> What will you ask her? [[Why are you here?]] [[How do I get to Mordor?]]

You use One Ring and turn Bilbo into a worm. You step on him!!! The hobbit cops are on to you!! [[Rivendell.|Rivendell cops]] [[Worms.]]

What joke will you tell him? [[Knock knock.]] [[Pull finger.]]

The hobbit cops chase you to Rivendell!!! [[Elrond.|Elrond hobbit cops]] [[Beg.]]

You use the ring to turn hobbit cops into worms. You step on them. Where now? [[Gondor.]] [[Rivendell.]]

<img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/elrond.png"> What do you want from Elrond? [[Help.|Elrond cops help]] [[His face.]]

You beg the hobbit cops for your life. They're willing to let you bribe them. [[The ring.|Hobbits bribe ring]] [[Autograph.]]

You confess everything to Elrond. He is reluctant to help you because you are a murderer. [[Offer ring.]] [[Caress cheek.|Elrond caress]]

You claw off his face. HE IS ACTUALLY MARTHA STEWART!!! <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/marthasurprise.png" class="shake"> "Surprise!" she wails. You are dead from shock. You die as Shocked Ring Bearer Colby. [[Play again?]]

Elrond takes the One Ring. He uses its power to summon worms. They eat you alive!!! <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/wormdeath.png" class="shake"> You die as Elrond Murdered Colby. [[Play again?]]

You caress his cheek. It is so soft. It is distracting. He takes the One Ring from you and you die. You die as Crushin' on Elrond Colby. [[Play again?]]

You give hobbit cops the One Ring. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/onering.png" class="spin"> But it is too much for them and they die when they touch it. You get away safely! Now where? [[Gondor.]] [[Lothlórien]]

You offer them your autograph. But you're not famous, you're just dead. You die as Hobbit Copped Colby. [[Play again?]]

You must pass through Moria first. [[Ok.|Moria]] [[Never.|No Moria]]

Galadriel takes ring from you. She becomes evil overlord. You are dead. You die as Failed Ring Bearer Colby. [[Play again?]]

BALROG!!! <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/balrog.png" class="shake"> You die as Balrog Murdered Colby. [[Play again?]]

You get lost. You somehow exit Middle Earth and arrive at elementary school. Elementary school is so ugly. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/images/school1.png"> [[Pretty girl.]] [[Make friends.]]

"Who's there?" Bilbo asks. [[Robin.]] [[Owls say.]]

Bilbo is not amused. He pulls out gun and shoots you. You die as Bilbo Shot Colby. [[Play again?]]

"Robin who?" Bilbo asks. <div class="shake">"ROBIN YOU, HAND OVER THE CASH!!!"</div> Bilbo gives you all his money. Where do you go now? [[Gondor.]] [[Lothlórien]]

"Owls say who?" Bilbo asks. "Yes they do!!" you shout. Bilbo is not amused. He pulls out gun and shoots you. You die as Bilbo Shot Colby. [[Play again?]]

"I've come to surprise you," she says. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/marthaevil.png" class="shake"> She laughs wickedly. [[Goodbye.|Shire 2]]

She doesn't know. What a waste of a question. [[Ok.|Shire 2]]

You're still in the Shire. [[Bilbo.]]

<img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/elrond.png"> What do you want from Elrond? [[His face.|His face 2]] [[Where is Mordor?|Mordor q Elrond]]

A procession of elves is performing Michael Jackson's Thriller. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/elvesdance.gif" class="sway"> [[Join them.]] [[Play Queen instead.]]

You try to claw off his face. He's too quick! You notice a strand of blonde hair among his dark hairs. "Leave," he says. What a waste. [[Ok.|Rivendell 2]]

He doesn't like you. He snaps his fingers and summons a monster!! [[What is it?|Moria]]

You're still in Rivendell. [[Thriller.]]

You try to dance with them. You have no dance skills. You trip and die. You die as Dancing Ring Bearer Colby. [[Play again?]]

You play Bohemian Rhapsody. Elrond comes out. "I love this song!" he says. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/elrondhappy.png" class="sway"> [[Me too.]] [[How do I get to Mordor?|Thriller Mordor]]

Elrond thinks you're trying to be as cool as him. He zaps you and sends you away, out of Middle Earth. [[Ok.|Explore.]]

"Just take the bus. DON'T TAKE THE SUBWAY," he says. [[Take bus.]] [[Take subway.]]

Welcome to Mordor. [[Martha Stewart.|Martha Mordor]] [[Mount Doom.]]

You were told not to take the subway. You arrive in Narnia. You die. You die as Narnia Colby. [[Play again?]]

<img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/martha.png"> What do you want from her? [[Why are you here?|Martha mordor]] [[Her face.]]

<img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/mountdoom.png" class="shake"> It is too hot! You shrivel up in flames. You die as Mordor Colby. [[Play again?]]

<img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/marthaevil.png"> "Why are you here?" she asks in reply. You weren't ready for that question. You start to think about how you got here... Something dabbing in the garden... Past lives... Infinite timelines... Infinite realities... You fall into madness. You die. You die as Insane Ring Bearer Colby. [[Play again?]]

You claw off her face!!! <div class="shake">SHE IS YOU!</div> You die from shock. You die as Shocked Mordor Colby. [[Play again?]]

It's a personal question. She doesn't like that. She sends you away to the psych ward in revenge. You die as Psycho Kid Colby. [[Play again?]]

"I would have looked for Middle Earth or Narnia," she says. [[Middle Earth?]] [[Narnia?]]

She tells you Middle Earth can only be accessed through a strange combination of washing machines and alternate realities. You must die first. She kills you as a favor. You die as Psychiatrist Murdered Colby. [[Play again?]]

She tells you Narnia can only be accessed through a different world. But in order to get to that different world, you must defeat a magical being. And die. So she kills you. As a favor. You die as Psychiatrist Murdered Colby. [[Play again?]]

<div class="shake">NURSE IS ONE OF THE WORMS!!</div> <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/wormnurse.png" class="shake"> You die as Wormed Colby. It's too bad. You had so much potential, you could have even been a movie critic... [[Play again?]]

Yum. Worms is tasty. You gain knowledge and strength. What will you do now? [[World domination.]] [[Cinema.]]

Principal overhears plan for world domination. You get detention. You die as Detention Colby. [[Play again?]]

Welcome to cinema home of movies. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/cinema.png"> What will you watch? [[Die hard.]] [[Fantasia.]]

Movie is so-so. [[Start blog.]] [[Refund.]]

Movie is meh. [[Start blog.]] [[Popcorn.]]

What will you name your blog? <<textbox '$blogname' '' autofocus>> [[Name blog.]]

There is a no refund policy. You die. You die as No Refund Colby. [[Play again?]]

You love popcor- <div class="shake">OH NO!!</div> KERNEL GETS STUCK IN YOUR TEETH. YOUR GUMS BLEED AND YOU DIE. You die as Popcorn Bleeding Colby. [[Play again?]]

Congratulations, your blog $blogname is now live! <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/blog.png"> What will you do? [[Blog about life.]] [[Movie review.]]

What do you wish to share? [[Life story.]] [[Last night's dinner recipe.]]

What will you say about the movie? [[It was the best. (Lie)]] [[It wasn't the best. (Truth)]]

<div class="typing"><h1>My life...</h1></div> [[has been happy so far|My life has been happy so far.]] [[has been ok so far|My life has been ok so far.]] [[has been sad so far|My life has been sad so far.]]

Last night's dinner was liver and onions. Gross. You die as Liver and Onions Colby. [[Play again?]]

Oops. That's no good. The point of this game is for you to constantly face set backs and die. If you're happy, then something has gone wrong. Let's fix that. You are dead now. You die as Happily Dead Colby.</div> [[Play again?]]

You post your story. You have received a comment: <div class="shake">gr8 content mate!! click her for overseas pharmacies that deliver to usa</div> It is spam. You die. You die as Comment Spam Colby. [[Play again?]]

You share your story. Great news: Lifetime would like to turn your life into a movie!! [[Accept offer.]] [[Decline offer.]]

A few weeks later, $blogname THE MOVIE hits cinemas. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/cinema.png"> It is a hit. [[Oprah.]] [[Video game.]]

You shrivel up always wondering what life could have been. You die as Regretful Colby. [[Play again?]]

Welcome to the Oprah Show. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/oprah.png"> "Why do you do?" she asks. [[For the children.]] [[For the orphans.]]

You try to sell the video game rights to your life story. Video gamers aren't interested though. "It sounds like a YouAreColby.com rip off," they say. You die. You die as Failed Video Game Mogul Colby. [[Play again?]]

"What is your belief about children?" she asks. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/oprahhmm.png"> [[They are the future.]] [[They are the way.|They are the future.]]

"Look under your seats!" she exclaims. The crowd gasps! <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/oprahshout.png" class="shake"> <div class="shake">"ORPHANS FOR EVERYONE!!"</div> she says. You get an orphan, but you are not ready for this responsibility. You die as Orphan Father Colby. [[Play again?]]

Oprah is impressed with your wisdom. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/oprahsurprised.png"> "How do you know this?" she asks. [[I ate worms. (Tell the truth)]] [[I read books. (Lie)]]

Suddenly, worms come streaming out of your body!! <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/wormdeath.png" class="shake"> Apparently, the worms you ate earlier laid eggs inside you! How embarassing for you. You die as Nationally Embarassed Colby. [[Play again?]]

"What is the best book?" she asks. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/oprahhmm.png"> [[Bridge to terabithia.]] [[Justin Bieber's autobiography first step 2 forever]]

Oprah cries. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/oprahsad.png"> "This book makes me emotional!" she exclaims. You become known as the person who made Oprah cry and now the nation hates you. You die as the person who made Oprah cry. [[Play again?]]

"You are a fraud!" she exclaims. <img src="http://youarecolby.com/design/2/oprahsuspicious.png"> This is so embarassing. You die as Fraud Colby. [[Play again?]]

The internet knows you are inauthentic. You die as Inauthentic Colby. [[Play again?]]

You post your review. You have received a comment: <div class="shake">u suck i love that movie u suck i hate you u suck</div> You die. You die as Failed Blogger Colby. [[Play again?]]